Iris: I've
found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said
"Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought.
Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am
more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more
than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter
and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is
blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite
inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course
love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another
kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its
called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about
people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What
about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of
the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved
ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great
parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have
willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years
of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought
in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the
darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a
man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him!
Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the
usual symptoms.
Iris: I
understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how
it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it
doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many
glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed
every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you
could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could
think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself
that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however
long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make
you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come
back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that
will eventually begin to fade.
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